30 Things Before 30

The End

2010-11-01T11:47:00.003+11:00

Today is November 1st, 2010. Today, I turned thirty.

A little over a year ago, I had a crazy idea, big plans, and a list scribbled on a piece of scrap paper. Over the course of the year, this project has consumed hundreds of hours, thousands of dollars, and a large portion of my (remaining) sanity.

It was worth it.

An enormous thank you to all the people who helped me (knowingly or unknowingly), supported me, and held me accountable. I couldn't have done it without you.

Michelle

Finished.

2010-10-31T15:18:00.008+11:00

This weekend, with less than 48 hours to go before my 30th birthday, I managed to complete the 3 remaining items on my List.

The first one to be completed was no. 21, 'Throw a party'. The party took place at a local pub, with the theme 'The Nerd Convention'. Geeks, dorks and nerds (aka, my friends and family) converged on the pub's back deck, much to the bemusement of the other patrons.

My nerdy parents

Rob and Emma make good use of 3D glasses

Myself, with Leah and Graham (I am dressed as Tim the Enchanter. For those of you who don't know who that is- first of all, shame on you. Secondly, go here and educate yourself).

Michael, aka Captain Hammer with his prize for winning the 'Knerdy Knits' contest.

Dana Scully and her 'Goodies' obsessed husband.

There was much talking, drinking and laughter. We played 'nerd pass the parcel', 'Knerdy Knits' (in which the players had to identify movie/tv/video game characters I had knitted) and 'Pin the Photon Torpedo on the Thermal Exhaust Port'.

Before I can continue with the narrative of the party, I need to briefly flash back to Friday- the day when my friend Leah came for a visit, and we spent several hours transforming this...

...into this.

Here's Leah, working on the cake. Notice how she manages to look stylish and refined while coating a cardboard box in garishly pink paint.

Okay, flashback over. We return to the party, where I have just retrieved the cake from my father's car and shuffled my way back to the party underneath it. Then...

...I jump from within, to rapturous applause. List item 22 completed!

Then, there was real cake.

It was delicious.

That left only one list item to go- the time capsule.

And, with that, the list is completed. My wacky, frivolous, somewhat insane project is actually finished.

Tomorrow, I will attempt to sum up my feelings about this project in a touching, meaningful way. More likely, I will end up rambling on and on like an undeserving Oscar winner. Either way, it should be entertaining.

The Final Countdown

2010-10-25T14:05:00.004+11:00

One week to go. Three items to complete. It is ON.

Oh, and before I forget, this project actually got some media attention last week! Here's the article that appeared in the local paper (click for bigger)-

From the sublime to the ridiculous

2010-10-24T09:20:00.006+11:00

Friday night was the big one: the 'Musique pour Medecins' concert.

I spent the day manically running about, buying nibbles, setting out chairs, practicing piano accompaniments and crossing items off lists. By the time the audience began to arrive, I was nothing but a frantic blur in a red dress. (No photos of the frantic blur exist. Apparently, I was moving too fast).

I looked very much like my father (the blur at the back). But in red. And female.

Le Gall Patisserie had donated many fabulous mini-quiches, and local vintner Tony Hatch brought a selection of fabulous wines. (Note to anyone else who would like to organise this sort of thing in future: local small businesses are fabulous, and will be happy to help you. Large, multinational corporations will not. I learned this the hard way).

At 7pm, the concert got underway.

This is only a very small sampling of the performers, by the way. There were 13 different performances, all of which were fantastic. Good food, good wine, good music- and a good cause, for which we raised $610. That, plus the $459 I'd previously raised puts the total money raised at $1069, thus exceeding my goal!

To all the performers to donated their time and talents, the businesses who donated their wares and the audience who donated their money, may I say an enormous:

I couldn't have done it without you.

With the serious business done and dusted, I was free to spend this weekend on... less sensible pursuits.

The List is now 90% completed! Only three items to go!

A long walk

2010-10-19T14:03:00.003+11:00

Today I completed one of my most long-term List items- I have now travelled 1000km on foot in under a year! I tried to make an epic video of my last triumphant kilometre, but it ended up looking lame and boring. Instead, please enjoy this clip of David Tenant singing with the Proclaimers.

You'd think that after walking 1000km, I would have buns of granite and legs like steel springs. Sadly, this is not the case. Damn.

Countdown- Two weeks to go

2010-10-18T15:07:00.004+11:00

Yipes! Only 14 days remaining! Luckily, everything is (more or less) under control. Sort of. I think.

I'm only a day or so away from finishing my 1000km (I only have 5km to go), Friday's concert is looking like a great event (I just hope we get a decent audience), and sometime soon I'll stand on my head for your ~~ridicule~~ amusement.

Just to recap, here are the List items yet to be completed-

14. Raise over $1000 for charity

18. Create a time capsule

19. Travel over 1000 km on foot within the space of a year

21. Throw a party

22. Jump out of a cake

28. Learn to stand on my head.

If you want to help me through this home stretch, don't forget the handy link in the sidebar!

Uke can do it!

2010-10-17T13:24:00.010+11:00

I play the ukulele. There, I said it. I, a classically trained pianist and vocalist, play the ukulele. And I LOVE it.

It's easy to learn, but difficult to master. It's portable, makes a nice sound, and works as a great accompaniment to singing. In fact, that's what I've been using it exclusively for- an accompaniment to my singing.

This year, I started learning a few pieces from this book. These pieces were a lot more technical, and (shock!) I suddenly couldn't hide my shoddy technique behind my singing. I had to work hard, extend my skills and, you know, be vaguely competent.

My List challenge- 'Perform a ukulele solo in public' was just that. A ukulele SOLO. No singing to hide behind and mask my playing. Just me, the ukulele, and the inevitable stage fright.

Yesterday, The Blue Mountains Ukulele Group (or BMUGs, for short) came to town. They were here to provide a couple of ukulele workshops and present a concert/jam night in the evening. As a lonely solo uker, the prospect of a group jam was an exciting one, and so I grabbed my uke and sallied forth to the afternoon workshops. Sadly, I forgot to bring my camera. Just picture a room full of about 40 ukulele players of all ages sitting around, having a drink and playing 'These Boots Are Made For Walking'. It was great fun, and I learned a lot of technique tips and tricks.

After the workshops, I went home, got changed, grabbed the camera, and headed back for the evening concert.

First the local ukulele group played-

You will note that I am not there. Sadly, these guys rehearse at a time when I'm at work. Darn.

Then the Blue Mountains Group played-

This was part of a 'Blue Brothers' medley

And then... then came the time for my solo.

I am making a mistake here. I can tell because I am smiling.

It went quite well, all things considered! I was a bit sad that there wasn't time for me to play the other songs I'd prepared. Never mind, I'll ~~subject people to them~~ play them next week at an open mic event.

After a few more solos, there came the all-in performance-

This is a more accurate depiction of what the lighting in there was actually like.

The highlight of the concert was Dominic, pictured here with his lovely girlfriend Jessica-

Dominic is a very, very good uke player who ended up at the concert through sheer coincidence. The two of them were travelling back to Sydney, stopped to stay the night in Bathurst, and wandered into town to see what was on. He had to borrow a ukulele from someone else in order to perform. He was probably the best uke player I've ever seen live. His band website is here, should you wish to check it out.

The whole evening was big, big fun. This morning, my forearms are sore, and I have ukulele-shaped bruises on my right arm. Totally worth it.

Countdown- three weeks to go

2010-10-11T16:45:00.002+11:00

I have three weeks to go, and seven items to complete. Eeep.

I've been doing a LOT of organising, though. Next Friday's charity concert for Médecins Sans Frontières is starting to come together (meanwhile, I'm frantically learning the French words to one of the songs I'm singing- 'l'amour' is easy enough to remember. The rest? Not so much).

I've also been organising parties, walking my little legs off (only 37 km to go!) and worrying greatly about List item 28. I am simply no good at standing on my head. I'm going to go with plan B, which involves standing on my head while using a bit of support to help me out. No doubt there will be an embarrassing video of that soon enough.

I've also got a uke gig this weekend, which I'm looking forward to. Here's hoping my solo goes reasonably well (there's a reason why I'm a piano player and not a professional uke-ist, let's just put it that way).

Record

2010-10-05T16:30:00.002+11:00

Number 24 on my List is 'Attempt to break a world record'. After a bit of quality time with various copies of the Guinness Book of Records, I decided to take on the 'Most kilts put on in one minute' record. I applied for the official paperwork (which I got) and set out to smash the old record into the dust.

Ahem.

Here's how it went.

If only I'd gone to a private school where all the girls wear kilts as part of the uniform. That would have made things so much easier.

Countdown- four weeks to go

2010-10-04T15:30:00.003+11:00

It figures. Just as I reach the home stretch, I get knocked down by a pretty serious cold that left me unable to think clearly, do much walking, or even attempt standing on my head (the thought of what would happen to the head-gunk was just... unsettling). Still, I have managed to do a lot of uke practice (good thing too, since I've only got a week and a bit until that performance), and I've set up a Facebook page for my Musique Pour Médecines concert here. So, here's how things currently stand-

4. Getting organised. Posters are done, and publicity is being planned.

18. Still shoving stuff in there.

19. Lagging. I now need to do 15km a week to make it.

21. Bought a whole bunch of party stuff last night. Preparing awesome games. Am looking forward to this one!

22. The logistics of this one are still to be considered.

23. A little under two weeks away!

24. Stay tuned on this one... I should be posting something in the next couple of days.

28. This is worrying me. I'm not entirely sure I'm capable of this one. I have a backup plan in case things should fail. (I really don't want to fail, though!)

The countdown begins- five weeks to go!

2010-09-27T09:02:00.004+10:00

It is now five weeks until my birthday, and I have eight List items remaining-

14. Raise over $1000 for charity

18. Create a time capsule

19. Travel over 1000km on foot within the space of a year

21. Throw a party

22. Jump out of a cake

23.Perform a ukulele solo in public

24. Attempt to break a world record

28. Learn to stand on my head

This may look like a lot to accomplish in five weeks, but preparations are being made to accomplish all of them. Observe:

14. I have organised a charity concert of French music to be held on Friday, October 22nd. My friends, workmates, and some Conservatorium music students are donating their time and skills to raise money for MSF. I'm looking forward to it! (If you're unable to make it to the concert, don't forget the handy donation link in the sidebar!)

18. The time capsule has been in progress for the entire year, and is filling up nicely. I will officially 'seal' the time capsule on October 31st.

19. As of this writing, I have 65km to go. This is totally do-able! I only need to do 13km a week to make it in time.

21. The party venue is booked, and invitations have been ordered. I'm also preparing some of the party games.

22. One of my friends is very keen to help me with this. We have hatched a cunning plan.

23. In one of those pieces of fortuitous timing, there will be a 'Ukes in the Pub' event on October 16th (which I had absolutely nothing to do with organising) and I've been asked to play three or four songs. Perfect!

24. I have the paperwork. I have the equipment. I just don't think I'll crack the world record on this one (which is why the List item purposefully says 'attempt').

28. This is the one that worries me the most. All of my attempts this year have been pretty fruitless. I think I need to do what I did with the juggling- practice every day until I get the damn thing right.

The countdown is on. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1...

Stargazing

2010-09-20T20:51:00.004+10:00

My family once hosted two exchange students from Japan who had lived all their lives in the city. Due to the constant city pollution and bright lights, they- at the ages of 15 and 16- had never seen the stars.

I am fortunate enough to live in the country, where bright lights and pollution are minimal. You'd think I'd take advantage of star-gazing at every opportunity, but sadly, I do not. Partly due to a busy schedule, and partly because it's so very easy to forget the wonders that wait just outside the window.

Tonight was the first night I'd had off in a long time, and I was determined to make the most of it. Relaxation under the stars was exactly what I needed. Sadly, I hadn't picked the best night. There was quite a bright moon-

-which meant that the stars weren't as bright as they could have been. Still, it was wonderful to lie out on the grass and gaze up into nothingness, speckled with little pinpoints of light. (I tried to photograph it, but my poor camera couldn't take it). I enjoyed lying there and imagining each star with its own solar system, planets, comets, meteors, space debris and (possibly) life-forms until my brain short-circuited from the enormity of it all. An evening well spent.

Boing!

2010-08-24T13:32:00.005+10:00

Some of the things on my List were decided upon very early. Some things crept in later. And some things were completely random silliness, chosen to get me up to 30 items. This weekend's accomplishment was definitely one of the latter.

I have many good friends in Newcastle (the city I lived and studied in for five years), and every now and then one of them hands me an invitation I simply can't turn down. So when my friend Rowan invited me to a 'Trifle Party'- basically, an excuse to eat trifle and catch up with friends under the shadow of an inflatable Tardis- I had no choice but to make the trip.

On Friday night, I packed my bags. They were 2/3rds full of Space Hoppers.

The trifle party was lots of fun, and replete with trifle.

Too much trifle, actually- by helping number four I was feeling pretty nauseous. And what better way to relieve nausea than by having a space hopper race?

Here we are, ready to race. There are no photos of the race itself, but I lost. Pretty badly.

There was lots of Space Hopper type fun:

In the end, I was very glad that I had included this extremely silly and pointless activity in the List. If nothing else, it gave me a chance to catch up with a group of awesome people I don't get to see very often. Bounce on, guys!

I left my head and my heart on the dance floor

2010-08-05T21:26:00.005+10:00

A couple of weeks ago, I was disappointed when my plans to attend a dance class in Sydney fell through. (I was consoled by the limo ride and the champagne, though). Since I don't go to Sydney that often, I wondered how I was going to make List item 27 happen. Luckily for me, I live in a town full of talented and creative people.

Lee, the choreographer from 'The Producers', announced recently that she was going to start an adult dance class for beginners. Tonight was the first class, and eight of us assembled in a hall to step-ball-change, step-kick, and waltz step the night away. It was terrific fun. We even did choreography featuring glitter hats to the music of Kylie Minogue- it doesn't get any campier than that. (There are no pictures. I think the other class participants would have lynched me if I'd started snapping photos).

I am now two-thirds of the way through the List! Huzzah! In celebration, please enjoy this funky dance track.

Misspent Youth

2010-07-30T19:54:00.005+10:00

I tend to order a beer or a glass of wine when I go out for a drink these days. Back in the glorious heyday of my youth, however, I was a much more adventurous drinker. If it came in an interesting bottle, was neon coloured or had a little umbrella sticking out of the top of it, I was your girl. Three drinks were particular favourites- butterscotch schnapps, Irish Cream, and Kahlua (by far the classiest of the bunch).

Unfortunately, I was also almost constantly broke. So I learned to get by on the cheapest, nastiest booze available.

When inventing my official '30 Things Before 30' cocktail, the 'Misspent Youth', I tried to capture the essence of my earliest drinking experiences. Hopefully, this particular beverage will not only fulfil your daily intake of sugar and caffeine, but also leave enough money in your wallet for 'two-for-one' shots night at the uni bar.

Ingredients-
(From left to right) Cinnamon, cheap irish cream, cheap butterscotch schnapps, Kahlua, ice. You'll also need a cocktail shaker, a teaspoon and a drinking glass.

Pour equal amounts of butterscotch schnapps and Kahlua into the cocktail shaker with ice. Shake until the cocktail shaker starts to mist up on the outside.

Pour into a second-hand glass nicked from a share house.

Add a layer of irish cream by pouring it gently across the back of a teaspoon.

Add a sprinkle of cinnamon to the top (for a classy touch).

This beverage is best enjoyed with the music of Wheatus, a Materials of Music assignment that's, like, so hard, and while wearing your favourite op-shop shirt and Doc Martens. Enjoy your Misspent Youth!

A Taste of Luxury, and the Majesty of Nature

2010-07-19T10:14:00.008+10:00

I spent a few days in Sydney last week, winding down after the long season of 'The Producers'. Before I went, I made a couple of bookings relating to my List. Sadly, the first one- a class in Cabaret style dance (list item 27) fell through. The second one, however, went ahead like luxurious, motorised clockwork.

I had dinner on Thursday night with my friends Jai and Tania. I'd missed their baby shower a week earlier, and wanted to make it up to them by taking them on an unexpected adventure. I didn't tell them what we were there for- just that we had to be at Town Hall steps at 7.15.

At 7.15, this showed up (photos courtesy of Jai)-

There was champagne inside.

(Poor Tania couldn't drink any (baby on board) but I think she enjoyed watching Jai and I becoming increasingly sloshed).

Anyway, here's what happened.

A big thank you to HF Wedding and Hire Cars for their professional service, and particularly to our chauffeur, who told us interesting stories about the various people he's driven around over the years.

After our exciting ride (and polishing off the second bottle of bubbly in my hotel room) Jai and Tania left, and I went to bed. For about three hours. At about 2.30am, I suddenly woke up and could not get back to sleep.

I tossed and turned. I berated my brain*. I remember rolling over, seeing the digital clock display 4.44am, and coming to two simultaneous realisations- 1) Sleep was simply not going to happen, and 2) There was an opportunity here I had not considered.

I got up.

After a quick shower, a (fruitless) attempt to hide the dark circles under my eyes with make up and a stop for some very necessary coffee, I caught a train to Circular Quay. Here's what it looked like when I arrived:

I took a seat on the steps to the side of the Opera House (facing east), cranked Ross Edwards' Maninyas on my iPod, and watched the sun rise.

It was beautiful, and a stunning way to begin the day. Sydney locals- why aren't you doing this all the time? The only company I had were joggers, the odd fisherman, and the guys emptying the grease traps (note: avoid them if you can. That was a hell of a smell to be hit with before 6am).

I spent the rest of the day stumbling around in a daze. It was worth it.

That's two List items completed within 12 hours of each other! That also brings me up to 60% done. Will I make it, with only 3 1/2 months to go? I sure hope so.

*Both these pictures by the wonderful Allie Brosh. If you're not already reading Hyperbole and a Half, what the hell's wrong with you?

Maestro

2010-07-02T11:03:00.003+10:00

Yesterday saw the completion of Wild Card number two- I conducted an orchestra in performance.

For the past few months I've been working on a local production of 'The Producers' as musical director. Teaching and rehearsing the vocal parts was... well, not easy, but something I'm accustomed to, having worked with singers and choirs for years. However, when the time came to assemble the orchestra, I was on far less familiar turf. Luckily I have many wonderful, talented musician friends (and their wonderful, talented students) who were happy to help out and join in.

One of my biggest obstacles was learning to use a conductor's baton (or as I prefer to think of it, 'the little white pointed stick'). Choral conductors generally don't use one, and it took me a while to get used to a vastly different style of conducting. (Now when I'm conducting a choir, I find my right hand grasping at a conductor's baton that isn't there).

I was only able to get a couple of photos of the orchestra (and these are far from complete, or indeed in focus)-

The orchestra has been rehearsing since mid-May (I made a brief reference to it here) and the first show was absolutely fantastic. I couldn't stop grinning the entire way through the Overture.

Completing this item (although it's actually far from complete- I still have many, many shows to go before my little white pointed stick gets a rest) has put me officially over the halfway point! Unfortunately, I only have four months to go until November 1st, and fourteen items yet to complete. Yikes!

Progress Report- Weeks 32, 33 and 34

2010-06-28T14:32:00.002+10:00

The calm before the storm. That's how these past three weeks have been, at least as far as this project is concerned. I managed to complete List item 15- or rather, my sister completed it for me by hitting me in the face with a pie. Apart from that, June has been a very quiet month on the project front.

July, however, should be a big 'un. My second Wild Card will come to fruition on July 1st, and I have plans to knock over at least two more list items in the course of the month!

In your face!

2010-06-12T09:47:00.003+10:00

I was forced to take a shower shortly afterwards when my hair started to curdle. (Sitting under the air conditioner as it blasted hot air down on me probably didn't help, either).

I am now officially halfway through the project, having completed 15 out of 30 List items! Please join me in epic musical celebration.

Progress Report- Week 31

2010-06-06T20:07:00.002+10:00

This week's big achievement was completing my Banned Books Challenge with 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'. Now that it's over, I find that I am completely at a loss as to what to read next, despite the piles and piles of unread books all over my house.

I also received another donation to Médecins Sans Frontières! Thank you for your generous donation, Carissa- I'm almost at the halfway point!
Seriously, this is the one List item I want to achieve most. If you can donate any money at all to this excellent cause- even a couple of dollars- I would really, really appreciate it.

Walking as continued as normal- I'm now more than 40 kilometres ahead! I'd also hoped to have another item finished this week, but I'm happy to wait until the end of next week to see it completed.

Lady Chatterley's Lover

2010-06-04T07:09:00.004+10:00

For the past seven months, I have been slowly making my way through the world of controversial classical literature. Last night, my journey ended with the completion of the D.H. Lawrence novel, 'Lady Chatterley's Lover'.

Constance (Lady Chatterley) is married to Clifford, who is paralysed in combat and rendered impotent. Sexually frustrated, she begins an affair with the estate's gamekeeper, Oliver Mellors. The book is also full of metaphors, extremely purple prose, and opinions on everything from the industrial revolution to what makes a true 'man'.

This was probably the most graphic of all the novels- it certainly didn't pull any punches when it came to sexual content. Lawrence's characters also like to voice their opinions on various aspects of life- mostly in long-winded, flowery statements that I occasionally agreed with, and more often didn't. (One such opinion that made me smile was Mellor's assertion that all men should wear tight scarlet trousers in order to feel like 'real men'). And although the novel ran contrary to my fears and never prompted me to throw it at the wall*, it certainly contained a few opinions that I strongly disagreed with.

Now that List item 5 is completed, please allow me the luxury of a little recap.

Favourite book: 'Of Mice and Men'. No question. This was a touching, heartfelt, stunning little gem of a book. Read it if you can.

Least favourite book: While none of them were 'bad' as such, my least favourite was probably 'Madame Bovary' simply because I could not bring myself to like the main character. The story was good, the plot and characters well fleshed out- but Emma Bovary irritated me.

Greatest accomplishment: Finishing 'Ulysses'. It's an utterly brilliant and fiendishly difficult book, and probably something I'll revisit- but not for a few years.

If you'd like to try a similar feat yourself, the list of books I read can be found here. If modern literature is more your thing, here's a list of books banned by governments around the world. Go on. Read something controversial. Who knows? You might like it.

*The only book I ever actually threw at a wall was a book called 'Enchanting Kittens'. It was a book of Mills and Boon style short stories in which kittens use magic powers (yes, really!) to bring lovers together. I read it in a sort of morbid fascination, and it remains to this day the absolute worst book I have ever read.

Progress Report- Week 30

2010-06-01T07:50:00.003+10:00

Week 30?! There's a scary number, especially when I consider how little I got done this week. I'm almost halfway through 'Lady Chatterley's Lover' and should hopefully be done with it by the end of the week, thus completing my 'Read the Top 10 Banned Books' challenge. I also kept up with my walking, putting me well ahead of the pace.

I also received another donation to Médecins Sans Frontières! Thanks, Dorothy and Graham- your contribution is very much appreciated.
If you'd like to help me reach my goal of raising $1000 for charity, please follow the donation link in the sidebar.

The next week should see the completion of one (possibly two) List items! Hooray!

Progress Report- Week 29

2010-05-23T17:34:00.004+10:00

A quiet week this week. I finished The Scarlet Letter, leaving me with only one book to go- Lady Chatterly's Lover. I'm a little apprehensive about that one- apparently, D.H. Lawrence's thoughts about women are pretty sexist, and I'm worried I'll spend more time hurling the book violently at the wall than reading it.We shall see.

Other than that, the only thing I've kept up is the walking. I'm tantalisingly close to 60% (599.5km as of this writing). That puts me about 37km ahead at the moment!

The Scarlet Letter

2010-05-22T08:24:00.004+10:00

Last night, I finished reading The Scarlet Letter.

It was enjoyable enough, in a puritanical soap-opera type way. The general plot is as follows- Hester Prynne, a woman whose husband went away to sea some seven years previously, commits an act of adultery and gives birth. As punishment, she is ordered to wear a scarlet letter 'A' as an outward sign of her sin for the rest of her life. Of course, her husband returns and vows revenge on the man who cuckolded him, although Hester refuses to reveal his identity. The returned husband assumes a new identity, and discovers that the man he seeks is actually (spoiler!) a priest... see? Soap opera, and quite overblown soap opera at that.

The book was apparently banned on sexual grounds, labelled as 'pornographic and obscene'. I must have missed that chapter, because there wasn't anything even remotely pornographic- the sexual act that began Hester's trouble is only ever referred to in the vaguest and most passing of terms. There is an awful lot of moralising and debate about good and evil, but a distinct lack of saucy bits. (The people who labelled this book 'pornographic' would keel over dead if they ever got a glimpse of 'Ulysses').

Nine books down- only one to go!

Progress Report- Week 28

2010-05-16T16:32:00.005+10:00

My digital camera was discovered on the floor of my friend's car, and juggling practice resumed.

I did it! It only took six days of regular practice (about 20 minutes a day) to get there. I even shot this video twice- I realised that I hadn't turned the overhead light on in the first take, and everything was pretty gloomy and hard to see.

I've also discovered that I like juggling. It's really, really fun once you get going. I'm going to try to keep improving my skills, simply because I have a vision of singing an aria (possibly Bizet's Seguedille from 'Carmen') while juggling, and calling it 'performance art'. I may even wear some form of bizarre hat.

In other news, walking continues as normal- I'm currently up to 577km, putting me a full 40km ahead of the pace. And just today I started something that, come July, will have matured into Wild Card no. 2!

Juggling Practice

2010-05-14T19:41:00.002+10:00

I've been practising my juggling every day this week, but hit a little technological snag.

Progress Report- Weeks 26 and 27

2010-05-11T07:12:00.003+10:00

I am a slacker.

I'm now officially halfway through this project, time wise. From here on out, it's a case of 'Third Act: The Ticking Clock'- a race against time to get stuff done. And what have I been doing? Why, utterly neglecting this project, of course.

Well, not utterly neglecting, to be honest. Walking has continued (and I'm still on track for that), I've been adding to my time capsule, and I've made a very vague start on The Scarlet Letter. I just seem to have reached a stage of general malaise with the project. I need to recapture the magic I felt when filling my house with balloons, or getting my tender flesh permanently recoloured.

It is with that in mind that I, Michelle, do solemnly swear to devote fifteen minutes a day, for as many days as it takes, to reach my goal of juggling three juggling balls for over 30 seconds. I have juggling balls. I have a YouTube account. I have a series of wacky t-shirts. The time has come for action!

Progress Report- Week 25

2010-04-25T11:36:00.003+10:00

This week's exciting accomplishment was passing the halfway point in my 1000km walking challenge! It's all downhill from here (except when I'm walking uphill).

My tattoo has also healed up nicely- it's still a bit tender in places and a couple of notes are still raised, but it's pretty much a part of my skin now. (Incidentally, I showed it to my parents last night. My mum said "Argh! Ack! Horrible!" and my dad said "Cool!" which is pretty much what I expected). Now that it's healed, I can return to working on the more physical challenges on the List, such as head-standing and juggling.

I thought I was going to have an opportunity to 'perform a ukulele solo in public' next week, but due to a scheduling conflict, it's gonna have to wait. Boo.

Five Hundred

2010-04-22T13:25:00.005+10:00

Today marks an important day. A momentous day. Do you know what day it is? No? Take a look in the sidebar at the total for 'Travel 1000km on foot'. In fact, don't even bother- I've taken a screenshot to immortalise it for all time and eternity.

I am officially more than half way to my 1000km goal! Sing it with me!

Oh, I have walked five hundred k's
And-a I will walk five hundred more
Just to be the girl who walked a thousand k's
Though why I'm not quite sure
Da dun da!

Take it, Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain!

Yes, I realise that 500 km is only just over 310 miles. Work with me here.

Progress Report- Weeks 23 & 24

2010-04-19T14:51:00.004+10:00

Two weeks- two list items completed! In week 23 I completed my first Wild Card, which I turned into an artsy, 'explorer of the world' style challenge. It was great fun, pulled me out of my comfort zone, and forced me to look at the world a little differently.

In week 24 I completed one of the largest and most nerve-wracking of the List items- 'get a tattoo'. It's currently healing well (though it's a bit itchy and flaky at present) and I'm very happy with it. Better pictures to come once it's all healed up!

The only other project that's received any attention lately is the walking challenge... and I'm so close to halfway done, I can almost taste it. Only eight and a half kilometres until I reach 500km!

PS- Hello to my workmates who found this blog a few days ago (oh, the perils of linking to your blog from your Facebook profile!)

Ink

2010-04-14T12:54:00.005+10:00

A couple of years ago I took myself on a tour of Eastern Europe. I'd travelled overseas before, but I'd always been with my family or a touring musical group- never alone. This time, as I shoved my luggage into the overhead storage bin, I was filled with excitement at this strange and novel experience, an experience months- nay, years- in the planning. Then I looked at the hundreds of other people on the plane with me, and deflated a bit as I realised "Wow. People do this all the time".

And that is pretty much how my appointment at the tattoo parlour went this morning.

I have wanted a tattoo for years. Years, people. When I was a university student, I made a deal with myself that I wasn't allowed to get one until after I'd graduated from my Honours degree. I even had the image picked out. And then... I never got around to doing it. Six years have passed since I received my shiny degree, and my flesh remained unmarked by ink and needle. Until this morning.

Photo taken about a minute after the artist had finished, hence the redness. Incidentally, it's on my back, though the photo makes it hard to tell.

I love it. I love it to pieces. I love that it hurt way, way less than I expected. I love that the tattoo artist (Troy from Skin Fantasy) was able to get the parallel lines of the music stave so clean and even. I love that I have a P.D.Q. Bach tattoo (the image is adapted from one of P.D.Q.'s supposed attempts to engrave music) and am therefore the biggest classical music nerd ever. The only thing I don't love is the way it is currently leaking blood and plasma, but that will pass.

My "Wow. People do this all the time" moment came in the form of a woman of around my age, who wandered into the tattoo shop at the same time I did, picked a butterfly picture off the wall, and was having it tattooed on her sternum within ten minutes. It took me six years to work up to this, and it took her ten minutes? Clearly, I am a slow starter.

Just my type

2010-04-09T13:21:00.006+10:00

This morning, I opened the book for the last time. (In the interests of full disclosure, I must confess that I played this sound effect every time I opened the book this week).

I found that this was very similar to Wednesday's activity of 'accidental art'- though the subject matter was a lot less accidental, the procedure was the same. I took myself for a walk and photographed a few samples that interested me. All of these are from within a few kilometres of my house.

A bonus of this activity was discovering that said vending machine dispensed the cheapest Diet Coke in town.

This brings me to the end of Wild Card 1! It was definitely an interesting week, and one that encouraged me to think laterally, look at things differently, and embrace my arty-farty side. My absolute favourite activity was the 'accidental art' one- in fact, I enjoyed it so much that I'll be keeping my eyes out for more in the future.

This success means I'm now more than 1/3rd of the way there. Woo!

Paint on a budget

2010-04-08T17:06:00.003+10:00

This morning's book opening looked like this-

I may wear many different hats, but 'visual artist' sure ain't one of them. (If you need convincing, just check out yesterday's attempts at photography). Still, I made an attempt to catalogue a list of things that I used or came into contact with today that would make for good (or passable, or even bad) paint or pigmentation.

Tea (black and/or green)
Lipstick
Mascara
Mud
Grass
Hand soap
Dust
Dish washing liquid
Toothpaste
Red wine
Mustard pickles
Chocolate
Leaves
Tree bark
Diet Coke
Walnuts

I have one more day of randomness before Wild Card 1 is complete!

Accidental Art

2010-04-07T16:37:00.005+10:00

This morning, the book opened to Exploration #27-

'Accidental Art. Go for a walk. Identify and document existing "art" that you find, such as things that are not created on purpose.'

I had a lot of fun with this one. It really encouraged me to pay attention to my surroundings and look at things in a way I hadn't before. Here's a few of the things I found-

The broken pump at the top of a fountain

Field Notes

2010-04-06T17:20:00.004+10:00

This morning, I opened the book to-

'Exploration #45- Self-Ethnography. Use yourself as your subject for documentation. Document in detail all of your movements, activities, behaviours and conversations throughout the course of a week. Include date, time and place'.

Ethnography, I discovered, is a research method requiring the gathering of specific data on human societies and cultures. Self-ethnography is the same thing, except all the data you gather is about you.

So, gather data I did. I wrote down everything (well, nearly everything... as much as I could remember) from the moment I opened the book until 5pm.

This was a surprisingly time-consuming process, and got quite tedious after a while. It certainly made me think more consciously about my daily actions and interactions- though, to be honest, most of them were quite commonplace and made for very dry writing- and reading.

The purpose of ethnography is to draw conclusions and describe the nature of the culture/study under scrutiny. I found this particularly difficult- firstly, because I found it hard to dissociate from the data (ie, my judgement was coloured by my own feelings and biases) and secondly, because there really wasn't much data to go on. If I were doing as the experiment said and recording my activities for a week, I could probably draw a few good conclusions... but frankly, writing everything down was so tedious that I'd have given up by the fourth day.

To give myself a bit of distance from the info I recorded today, I've put my written sheets into an envelope (along with a shopping list and receipt from today's activities) and placed the envelope inside the Time Capsule. Perhaps the 'me' of the future will be a more successful ethnographer!

Tradition

2010-04-05T16:10:00.001+10:00

This morning I ate my cornflakes, poured myself a big cup of tea, and opened the book at random.

I got 'Exploration #23- How to uncover a mystery'. At first, I wasn't sure how to proceed. After a bit of fruitless Googling, I turned to that repository of mystery and myth- Snopes. (I love Snopes. Is there anyone who doesn't love Snopes? It has saved me from many email spamming, forward-sending, rumour-mongering relatives and friends over the years).

Seeing as I only had one day to work on this, I decided I didn't have time to let the mystery find me- I was going to have to find the mystery! So, I typed 'mystery' into the search box and sifted through the results, looking for something that interested me. And I found it.

'Grandma's Cooking Secret' lists several strange family traditions whose mysterious origins were somewhat more pragmatic than they appeared. This made me curious... how many other weird family traditions were out there?

I put the call out on Facebook and Ravelry. Before long, I was learning about lots of weird family traditions. Here's a few-

In grade school my friend had a tradition where she always screamed as loudly as she could while making the first cut in her birthday cake. I asked why & she said she didn’t know, all her siblings did it.

When coloring Easter eggs, there must be an “old ugly.” One egg that goes into all the dyes to see how it turns out. This year’s was mostly brown with some pinkish undertones.

My mother organized everything by 4s. When a dish set only came in a set of 6, she bought two to make it 12 (when she was living alone, and the most she usually had over was all 4 of her kids)...she does it with EVERYTHING. Like cookies, if she buys cookies or makes them, they have to come out to a multiple of 4, or she will pawn them off on people or eat the leftover 2 or 3 herself.

I have no idea why but on New Year’s Day my family members shout Happy New Year as loudly as possible in a strange voice that I can’t find good adjectives for, it’s sorta like Jimmy Stewart drunk but a little different.

Meanwhile, I was learning all about other traditions. Strange family recipe traditions (I love the idea of 'scrambled pancakes'), British traditions (who but the British would come up with the idea for cheese rolling? Or, for that matter, bog snorkelling?), outdoorsy traditions, and the utterly fascinating (and quite repulsive) tradition of self-mummified Buddhist monks. I even took a look at some of the traditions in my own life. Some of these traditions have discernible origins- some do not. Either way, each one is a little pocket of mystery and intrigue.

It was a very interesting exercise. My only regret is that I was unable to find a mystery closer to home to investigate. However, I'll know what to do if I ever find one!

An explorer of the world

2010-04-04T08:59:00.006+10:00

This project has had a number of unexpected consequences. Cleaning up hundreds of burst balloons from my living room, being ridiculed by pint-sized portrait painters (admittedly, their ridicule was almost impossible to discern), learning first hand about the amount of lift provided by helium, and that sometimes it is much less than you might thin k... these were all unforeseen discoveries. However, there was something I really, really didn't see coming.

My spontaneity has become almost non-existent.

This is the sort of project I thought would encourage spontaneity, not quash it. However, I've discovered that getting things done requires meticulous planning and research- for example, 900+ balloons don't just 'end up' in your living room. Some List items I haven't even attempted yet have involved careful planning from Day 1 (and, on a couple of occasions, before Day 1).

This week, I've turned to this book for guidance.

'How to be an Explorer of the World' is, essentially, a guidebook for those who want to experience the world a little bit differently. Each page contains activities, suggestions and ideas you can use to experience and interact with the world around you. In fact, it's a little bit like this-

-but with less blazers.

I bought the book a couple of years ago with the intention of doing some of the activities- but, of course, life got in the way, as it always does. Well, not always. Not this week, anyway.

Every day, for the next five days, I'm going to open the book at random, and spend the day doing what it says.

This week, I'm getting my spontaneity back.

Progress Report- Week 22

2010-04-04T08:43:00.007+10:00

This week was not a particularly eventful week. I kept walking, of course- I'm up to 463.5km now, a full 41km ahead of the pace. I did a bit of ukulele practice, and am currently searching out an occasion to complete item 23- 'Perform a ukulele solo in public'. And, of course, I completed 'Candide', leaving me with only two books yet to read. With my goal so close, what do you think I've been reading this week?

A Jane Austen parody. With zombies. Hell, yeah.

Next week should be much more interesting. Starting tomorrow, I'm attempting one of my Wild Cards- a task that will involve much randomness, creative thinking, and (if I can get my act together) daily blogging. Stay tuned!

Candide

2010-03-30T17:19:00.003+11:00

Eight books down- two to go. Last night I finished Voltaire's 'Candide'.

This was pretty much the exact opposite of 'Ulysses'- fast paced, action packed, and related in a very matter-of-fact way. The story concerns Candide, a young man brought up to be an optimist by his tutor, Pangloss, whose mantra is "all is for the best in the best of all possible worlds". Unfortunately for Candide, he is subjected to horrific trials and tribulations for the entirety of the novel, which rather put a damper on his optimistic outlook. Along the way, Voltaire manages to parody religion, politics and intellectual conventions of the time. Several of the characters and situations mentioned are based on real people and events, and Voltaire has no qualms about letting us know exactly what he thought of them.

The thing that irritated me most (and I have no doubt that this was entirely calculated by Voltaire) was the fact that Candide never learns. People steal his money, whip him, beat him, cheat him and swindle him... and he keeps coming back for more. It isn't until the end of the book (when his moral has changed to 'We must tend our garden') that Candide develops an ounce of sense.

(It certainly was a pretty book to read, though. My version had lovely baroque illustrations all the way through).

Progress Report- Week 21

2010-03-29T13:50:00.006+11:00

I had enormous fun completing List item 3 this week- 'Fill my living room with balloons'. Everyone who took part had an absolute blast, and I am forever grateful to all those who helped out.

The clean-up was a big job, though.

And this is what I collected off the floor-

An entire shopping bag full of burst balloons. (Shown with large balloon for scale). This isn't even all of them- there's still about forty inflated balloons living under my table that I can't bring myself to pop just yet.

I have now completed ten items, which means I am now officially one-third of the way through the List! I've got plans to complete a few more in the next couple of weeks, including one that I'm very nervous about.

As for other tasks that I've attended to this week: my walking has kept me ahead of the pace, and I'm slowly creeping my way towards 500km. I've also begun reading 'Candide', the eighth book on my Banned Classics list. It's an entertaining and easy read (certainly when compared to The Book That Shall Not Be Named) and I'm likely to finish it in the next couple of days.

How I spent my Saturday

2010-03-28T10:50:00.001+11:00

How did you spend yours?

Progress Report- Week 20

2010-03-21T09:55:00.005+11:00

Ack. The number 20 seems so... solid. Immense. It reminds me that I'm getting closer and closer to the halfway point, and from then on it will be a race to the finish. I'm constantly fighting the feeling that I'm lagging horribly behind.

This week's big achievement was finishing 'Ulysses'. It took months and months of hard reading, but I did it. That book is both impossibly brilliant and brilliantly impossible.

I'm also more than 30km ahead of where I need to be in the walking stakes. I think I've developed something of a reputation around town as 'that walking girl'. It has become a frequent occurrence to hear the phrase "I'm always seeing you walking to (place)!".

There are a few items I have fallen behind on (such as standing on my head) and a few items I need to make a start on soon (such as juggling) . School holidays are coming up, which will give me a little extra time to get stuck in.

Next weekend, I am attempting a list item that should be pretty spectacular. Stay tuned!

Triumph

2010-03-20T11:29:00.006+11:00

I have finished reading 'Ulysses'.

It took four months and seventeen days of on-again, off-again reading, and melted my brain into a puddle of goo in the process.

Can you tell that I'm happy to be finished?

This was the second-most difficult book I've ever read. The most difficult book was a textbook on Baroque music from my undergraduate course, which was intensely dry and boring. Ulysses is far from boring- it is simply way, way too smart for me.

I consider myself a reasonably well educated woman. I read books, I keep up with the news, I even watch films with subtitles in. But this book was obviously written by someone- and for someone- with a far greater grasp of literature than I myself possess. This Wikipedia guide was absolutely invaluable to my knowing what the heck was going on at any given moment.

James Joyce talks about sex throughout the book, often quite bluntly and forthrightly, and I assume this is what led to it being banned. Frankly, I'm amazed that the sexual puritans made it far enough through the book to find something to be indignant about.

I am glad to have read it, though. It is undeniably brilliant, beautifully worded, and one of those literary milestones that one feels better for having conquered. It's equivalent to reading 'War and Peace' or the complete works of Shakespeare. I really feel like I've achieved something.

I'll be reading comic books and trashy romance novels for the next two months in order to recover, though.

Thoughts whilst reading the last chapter of 'Ulysses'

2010-03-17T06:34:00.003+11:00

James Joyce has abandoned all grammar and punctuation.

I have abandoned all hope.

Progress Report- Weeks 17-19

2010-03-15T10:55:00.004+11:00

Whoops! I kind of forgot about the whole 'weekly updates' plan for this blog. Let's see...

In the past three weeks, I completed two List items- 'Send a message by balloon' and 'Perform five random acts of kindness'. (The random acts of kindness were so much fun, I may keep on doing them for 'extra credit'). I'm also on track with my walking tally- right now I'm at 401km, more than 20km ahead of where I need to be!

I'm also up to the last chapter of 'Ulysses', but it's scaring me a little. I think I just need to gird my loins and get on with it. I've been reading this book for nearly five months now!

Double Whammy

2010-03-06T17:30:00.006+11:00

I was discussing my 'thirty things' List with my friends Jai and Tania recently. Jai asked for examples of items I had yet to complete, so I listed a few. When I got to item 11, 'Send a message by balloon' he frowned. "I don't get it", he said.

This is a pretty fair point. It's not exactly a life-changing activity (but then again, neither was extracting my DNA). It doesn't really serve any practical purpose (though my intention to race space hoppers is hardly practical, either). It made it onto the List solely because it's such a childlike thing to do- I even have vivid memories of attempting it once, as a young girl.

I also like the 'randomness' element of it- my message could end up anywhere, depending on the way the wind is blowing.

Here's how it went down. (If you're the impatient sort, the important bit starts at 3.40)

As I left the show, I realised I was in possession of several spare Day Passes- I had been given some for my children's choir, who performed earlier in the day. Here's the conversation that ensued when I obtained the free tickets-

Me: So there'll be eighteen children at the most, and three adults.
Them: So, twenty-five tickets, then?
Me:... okay?

I figured it was no point in letting them go to waste, and gave them to the first group of people I saw on my way out of the show ground. It wasn't until I was halfway home that I realised I had inadvertently completed my fifth 'Random Acts of Kindness'.

List items 10 and 11, completed in one fell swoop. I'm on a roll!

Show and Tell- Portraits

2010-02-23T14:13:00.004+11:00

Here are the results of last week's portrait session. There were lots of great pictures, but in the interest of time (and bandwidth) I've been forced to cut it down to a select few. First up, a few of my favourites.

This was the only portrait that accurately captured my clothes. Very observant.

I love the fingers and toes on this one.

This one makes me look a little like the Blair Witch. Also, my hands are impressively big.

The aforementioned 'Me with sunburn and a rash' picture. The good thing about these pictures is that when they try to be insulting, it's extremely hard to tell.

The best parody of the bunch, I think. I have crazy eyes, many extra fingers and toes (that didn't show up well on the scan) and appear to be staring directly into a portal to hell.

A huge thank you to the kindergarten class who took time out to render me in pastels. Your work is very much appreciated. So much so, that several of these pictures are destined to be framed and hung on my wall!

Progress Report- Week 16

2010-02-21T16:57:00.005+11:00

This week I was able to cross off item no. 2- 'get my portrait painted'. My artists were inexperienced but enthusiastic, and I think they did a great job. I have my 'art prints', and I intend to devote a complete post to them early next week. Until then, here's one of my favourites-

I also raised $216 for Médecins Sans Frontières by hosting a garage sale. I was surprised by the things that did and didn't sell (I spent today stepping over all the unsold items cluttering up my living room- they're off to the charity shop this week). I used the time spent sitting and waiting for customers to get stuck into 'Ulysses'. Due to the very few people that showed up in the last couple of hours of the sale, I got lots and lots of reading time in. Result: I have a mere 284 pages to go! This may seem like rather a lot, until you remember that the book is 933 pages long.

I'm almost a third of the way through the walking challenge! The weather has been absolutely beautiful this week- crisp mornings, mild evenings... perfect walking weather. I pity those poor fools in their cars- that is, until the weather changes again.

Garage Sale

2010-02-20T17:33:00.005+11:00

Today I hosted my second fund-raising event for Médecins Sans Frontières- I organised a garage sale.

This picture was taken an hour or so into the sale, when a lot of items had already been snagged by early bird garage-salers.

My father helped me get set up, and kept me company throughout the morning. Thanks, Dad!

This was the first time I'd ever held a garage sale, so I had no idea what to expect. Here are some of the things I learned today-

Items that sell- craft suppies (the knitting needles and wool were the first to go), cushions, bags, crockery, and small trinkets. My father donated an absolutely huge box of key rings, and people had great fun digging through them and picking their favourites.

Items that don't sell/take a long time to sell- electronics (a perfectly good TV at a bargain price didn't even get a second glance), books, clothes, toys.

Items that would have sold well if I'd had them- large furniture (many, many people asked if one of the tables I was using to display items was for sale- it wasn't), baby/children's clothes and accessories, whitegoods.

Hosting a garage sale is boring. I spent most of my day-

-reading 'Ulysses'. I managed nearly 150 pages of it, just sitting and waiting for people to turn up.

All the items that didn't sell will be donated to charity, with the exception of some of the clothes- I'm going to try selling them to a second-hand dealer sometime next week (any money raised will go to MSF, naturally).

At the end of the day, I'd raised $216 for Médecins Sans Frontières. That brings my total up to $329... I'm almost a third of the way to my $1000 goal! (Pssst... if you want to help me reach that goal, just follow this handy link!)

Show and Tell- Photos

2010-02-18T13:50:00.004+11:00

Here are a selection of the photos taken by Peter Gumpert last Friday. Enjoy! (Note- all these photos were shot outdoors, using nothing but natural light- no additional lighting, no effects. I'm so impressed by the results).

Fine Art

2010-02-16T16:25:00.002+11:00

In my university days, I used to earn a bit of beer money with occasional work as an artist's model. It was ideal work, really- dinner was provided, I had the most comfortable seat in the house (and, depending on the weather, a heater or fan directed straight at me) and I was the undivided centre of attention for two solid hours. The only downsides were the 'getting my kit off' requirement, and the inevitable pins and needles from holding a pose for a very long time. After a couple of years, I was a pretty confident artist's model. But today, I felt more nervous about an art sitting than I had in a long time- and I didn't even have to remove a stitch of clothing. In fact, removing clothing in front of these artists would have been extremely inappropriate (not to mention illegal).

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you- my portrait artists.

This is the kindergarten class from one of the schools I teach at, and their teacher was generous enough to incorporate a portrait session into her unit on the letter 'M' (I am Miss Michelle, I teach Music, and I was there as their Model). It was quite fascinating to see myself through the eyes of four and five year olds. A couple of them drew pictures that I think were meant to be somewhat insulting, such as the boy who admitted he'd drawn me with 'sunburn and a rash' (neither of which I actually have) and one child who I think drew me with huge boobs, though I can't be sure. Most of the pictures were quite lovely, and all the artists were very careful to include the red and blue streaks currently in my hair.

I can't unreasonably seize artwork from children, though, so the class teacher is going to make me some colour photocopies- or, as I prefer to think of them, art prints. Stay tuned for the online exhibition!

Progress Report- Week 15

2010-02-15T18:11:00.008+11:00

A good week this week! I managed to cross 'Get a professional photographic portrait taken' off the List. I should have the resulting photos sometime this week.

A return to my regular walking routine over the last few weeks has helped me to maintain a decent lead- at present, I'm 12km ahead of where I need to be. (Admittedly, the last few days- when it has poured rain incessantly- weren't much fun to be walking about in).

Tomorrow, I get my portrait painted! And not just by one artist, but by several. That's right, a group sitting. I'm looking forward to it!

I've also started sorting and tagging things for my next foray into fund raising- I'm holding a garage sale this Saturday, and all the proceeds will go to MSF. If you happen to live locally, please feel free to stop on by and paw through the detritus of my life. (If you'd prefer to make a direct donation, please don't forget the handy link in the sidebar under 'How you can help').

I'm also almost finished with a secret project that will probably become a Wild Card (it's taken a long time, and is reasonably epic). Stay tuned!

Sadly, my juggling still needs a great deal of work. You can't win 'em all.

Say cheese!

2010-02-12T13:54:00.004+11:00

Less than an hour ago, I was able to cross another item off the list- I got a professional photographic portrait taken.

As a performer, I am occasionally asked for a head shot to print in a programme, use on a website, etc. The photograph I'd been using was at least four years old and, frankly, didn't look much like me any more (my hair and weight are remarkably different these days). It was time for an update.

I sought out a local photographer named Peter Gumpert who has previously photographed me- he's the in-house photographer for the cabaret series I regularly perform in. Here's a few photos he's taken of me in the past.

Yes, I am wearing a sequinned dress, thigh-high stockings and antlers. No, you do not want to know why.

On the big screen! Also, my fingers are freakishly long.

Still life with tambourine. Subtitle: Please don't look up my skirt.

Sonata for Kazoo, Slide Whistle and Airhorn. Not pictured: slide whistle, dignity.

These are all great photos, but not something I can print on a programme of, say, Mozart repertoire. So today resulted in a set of close up, fairly neutral portraits. I won't have the pictures until about Tuesday, but from what he showed me on the camera display, they look pretty sweet.

They still don't measure up to my favourite ever photograph of me, though-

I'm the one on the left. Also pictured- my very embarrassed cousins.

It's going to take one heck of a photo to top that one.

Progress Report- Week 14 + Moll Flanders

2010-02-09T13:02:00.005+11:00

This week has been one of preparation and organisation. I've booked a professional photography session for Friday, and organised a portrait sitting for next Tuesday (I'm getting all my vanity out in one hit, it seems). I completed my fourth Random Act of Kindness, hopefully making some people's grocery shopping that little bit easier in the process. I also spoke to a tattoo artist to confirm that the design I wanted was actually possible (it is). I have yet to arrange a proper, sit-down conversation with the artist, though.

I remain ahead in the walking stakes- being back at work is helping a lot. I'm starting to look forward to the drop in temperature autumn will bring in a month or so, because walking around in the summer heat is getting pretty draining.

The big news this week is the completion of the sixth book from the Banned Classics list- 'Moll Flanders', or, to give it its proper title-

The Fortunes and Misfortunes of the Famous Moll Flanders, Etc. Who Was Born In Newgate, and During a Life of Continu'd Variety For Threescore Years, Besides Her Childhood, Was Twelve Year a Whore, Five Times a Wife [Whereof Once To Her Own Brother], Twelve Year a Thief, Eight Year a Transported Felon In Virginia, At Last Grew Rich, Liv'd Honest, and Died a Penitent. Written from her own Memorandums.

The plot can best be summarised as follows-

Moll Flanders was born in Newgate, and had a life of continued variety for threescore years (besides her childhood). She was a whore for twelve years, five times a wife (once to her own brother), spent twelve years as a thief, followed by eight years as a transported felon in Virginia. At last she grew rich, lived honest, and died a penitent.

Basically, read the title and you've got the entire plot of the book. This is another novel which was challenged on sexual grounds, and I can see why- though not pornographic by any means, Defoe certainly isn't shy about talking about sex, with the added spice of criminal activity to top it off. I get the impression that this story would have been seen as 'trashy but fun' in its time- rather like Mills and Boon, with added crime and child abandonment.

Speaking of child abandonment, this was the issue that bothered me most, but is hardly ever addressed. Moll has quite a few children throughout the course of the book, and manages to abandon every single one of them along with way (usually, they were standing in the way of her acquiring a husband). I suppose it was a common occurance during the time the novel was written, but I couldn't help feeling bad for all of Moll's fictitious children. Poor little mites.

I might spend a bit more time with Ulysses (I refuse to let it break me) before I move into the next book- the Scarlet Letter.

Act of Kindness IV- Trolleys

2010-02-06T08:40:00.006+11:00

The Coles supermarket in my town recently installed those trolleys with the locks on them. You know, the kind where you put in a $1 or $2 coin to release the trolley from the bay, and returns the coin to you when you return the trolley.

This is all well and good- trolley theft is a big problem for supermarkets, although there are mixed feelings on whether rental systems are any sort of theft deterrent (after all, the trolley is definitely worth more than $1 ). All I know is that it is incredibly frustrating to get to the supermarket and realise that you don't have a coin with which to get yourself a freakin' trolley.

Today, I tried to alleviate that frustration- for a few people, at least. This morning, after doing my grocery shopping, I left a few dollar coins in randomly selected trolleys in the bay. I hope the finders enjoy their free trolley usage, and spend that extra dollar on something nice.

Progress Report- Week 13

2010-02-03T13:13:00.005+11:00

Late again with an update! Sorry about that. I went back to work this week, and getting organised for a new teaching term has been the priority.

I haven't been totally neglecting this project though- I've made some small advances this week. My walking total is now up to almost 280km- a full 20km ahead of where I need to be. (It's so nice to have that buffer zone back in place!)

I've booked an appointment with a photographer to get a professional photograph done- I'll be needing the photo soon-ish for work, websites and concert programmes. The photo session is next week, and I'll post the resulting pictures as soon as I have them!

I've also been reading 'Moll Flanders', which must have been a scandalous little tale back in its day. I'm less than halfway through, and Moll has already been married three times (once to her own brother- a case of mistaken identity rather than purposeful incest), a mistress to two other men (on separate occasions), and has been proposed to by a man she just met. The girl works fast.

I got the juggling balls out of the cupboard for the first time, and discovered that yes, I suck at this. Big time. (I'll try to put up a video in the next few days, detailing what I'm up against here).

Now, I'm off to practice the ukulele for a while before I head back to work. When the chance to perform this solo presents itself, I want to be thoroughly prepared. (I'll still stuff it up, but possibly less monumentally than otherwise).

Progress Report- Week 12

2010-01-24T17:55:00.004+11:00

This week, I managed to cross another book off my reading list by completing Of Mice And Men- a little gem of a book, as it turned out. I've also made a very brief start on 'Moll Flanders' by Daniel Defoe. Thus far, its oddest feature has been an introduction written by a writer who clearly detests Daniel Defoe. (Usually, book introductions are nothing but gush-fests about the author's genius and excellence, and that is why I usually skip them). If I ever write a book, I think I'll get someone who hates me to write the introduction- it's much more interesting that way.

I also spent some time hitting the gym and taking long walks in the summer sunshine this week. As a result, I'm ahead on my walking total once again, though only by about 4km. Still, it feels good to catch up after weeks of lagging behind.

This week has also seen several offers of help on this project from friends- one of whom plans to help me with my headstand (which is great, because I'm not doing so well on my own) and another who has offered to help with my juggling (something I should start practising soon, incidentally). Huge thanks to those people! If you'd like to help me out, please follow the link in the sidebar to find out how.

Of Mice and Men

2010-01-20T08:03:00.005+11:00

I spent some time in second-hand bookshops on Monday (for a town of this size, there are a surprising number of them). At the end of the day, I'd managed to track down three of the books from the Banned Classics list.

Moll Flanders, Of Mice and Men, The Scarlet Letter

After the recent brain-onslaught staged by Ulysses, I decided to read something that featured simple and straightforward language. So I started 'Of Mice and Men'. (Isn't that a great title? Four lovely single-syllable words. Surely this book would'nt tie my reading comprehension up in a knot).

I finished it in less than two hours.

What an amazing book. Steinbeck uses very few words, but every single one is in the right place. In quite a short space of time he draws characters we can understand, sympathise with, and- most importantly- empathise with.

The book was banned on 'social grounds'- the language and characterisation was felt by some to be 'offensive' and 'vulgar'. I think that perhaps it is a book that makes highbrow literary society uncomfortable. This is a book by the common man, for the common man. It is confronting, and comfort-less, and disquieting... and an absolute little gem of a story, told sparsely and beautifully.

I think it's been my favourite so far.

I'm halfway through the challenge! Four (and a half) books to go. I'm so glad I put this on the List- it's exposing me to literature I would otherwise have missed.

Progress report- Week 11

2010-01-17T12:33:00.007+11:00

This week, I completed item 1- 'Pop an entire roll of bubble wrap'. Share my moment of triumph!

I've also passed the 500 page mark in 'Ulysses'. Ha! I will conquer you, you wordy and obscure bastard! Just so you know what I'm dealing with here, here's an excerpt.

Universally that person's acumen is esteemed very little perceptive concerning whatsoever matters are being held as most profitably by mortals with sapience endowed to be studied who is ignorant of that which the most in doctrine erudite and certainly by reason of that in them high mind's ornament deserving of veneration constantly maintain when by general consent they affirm that other circumstances being equal by no exterior splendour is the prosperity of a nation more efficaciously asserted than by the measure of how far forward may have progressed the tribute of its solicitude for that proliferent continuance which of evils the original if it be absent when fortunately present constitutes the certain sign of omnipollent nature's incorrupted benefaction.

That's one sentence, people. ONE. No wonder it's taken me two and a half months to get this far.

To stop my brain from melting into a syrupy goo, I'm going to start another book from the list next week. A short one. One that uses plain language and simple words.

Yesterday I took myself for a nice long walk in an effort to catch up on my walking total. (I'm still behind, but I'm a lot less behind that I would have been otherwise).

I decided to go out and visit a cemetery I hadn't been to before. I like cemeteries. I like the peace and serenity. I like the stonework and iron gates. I also like to read people's headstones and imagine who they were in life. It's a sort of posthumous people-watching.

Modern graves really lack the romance and beauty of older ones.

This modern headstone was my favourite, though.

It's simple and beautiful and minimalist and just a little bit cryptic.

I've also gotten back into my headstand practice (sadly, I don't appear to be getting any better) and have started work on a ukulele solo.

Finally, and most importantly- Médecins Sans Frontières needs help in bringing aid to those affected by the earthquake in Haiti. They are in the process of mobilising an extra 70 emergency response staff, as well as transporting a 100 bed hospital to the area. They're the good guys, and they deserve our support.

If you're thinking of donating to this worthy cause, please follow the link in the sidebar.

Woman vs Bubblewrap

2010-01-13T16:49:00.002+11:00

Progress Report- Weeks 9 and 10

2010-01-11T20:19:00.004+11:00

Happy New Year! Sorry for the two weeks of blog silence. I went away for New Years and caught up with family and friends (with the added consequence of learning that some of them are actually reading this blog). When I got back home, I've been trying to get myself on track for the New Year- doing paperwork, making phone calls, and arranging music- hence the general neglect here.

Sadly, I have been neglecting this project as well. I am now officially behind in the 1000km tally (though only by a few kms- I hope to get those caught up soon) and other plans I had to work on list items fell flat over the break.

However, I did get a very exciting email on New Years Day. What it contained won't be revealed just yet- stay tuned!

In other good news, I have acquired this-

The next few days are going to be fun.

Progress Report- Week 8

2009-12-27T15:37:00.003+11:00

Last week, my progress was extremely poor. This week I have bounced back, completing one List item and making gains on several others.

I began the week by completing my third random act of kindness- making a toy and taking part in a 'Toy Drop' for The Toy Society. Mr Oddbody was found, and has begun a new and exciting life with his discoverers. This was such a great project to be part of, and definitely something I intend to do again!

I also managed to cross off 'dance in the rain' from my List- on Christmas Day, no less. This provoked a little bit of introspection about the project and the way I was going about it- thoughts I will no doubt keep in mind throughout the next ten months.

Of course, my walking continues- rather slowly, though. While I'm still ahead of where I need to be at this point, my lead has been whittled down to a mere 3km. I need to get my act together on this one, and soon.

Finally, enough time has passed that I have been able to return to Ulysses. I'm taking little nibbles- reading a few pages, then stopping- rather than gorging on literature and ending up feeling rather ill, like last time.

A Christmas Rain Dance

2009-12-26T09:04:00.007+11:00

How was your Christmas? I hope it was happy, healthy, and full of people you care about. Me? I got some kick-ass presents, ate way too much food, and got to spend the day with my family. As an added bonus, I was able to turn meteorological conditions to my personal benefit.

Rain on Christmas day may be a downer to some, but to me it was a chance go outside and act like a total idiot. Yes, I took the opportunity to dance in the rain.

My sister took video of the event, but in reviewing the footage, I've found it's kinda... boring. This is in no way my sister's fault- her camera work was great. I'm just not a very good dancer. (I discovered from watching the video that I am something of an arm flailer). In lieu of the actual footage (read- two minutes of your life you would never get back) I've provided a series of still shots. Think of them as a particularly damp and awkward flip-book.

It was at this point that mum came to the door to inform me that someone was on the phone.

They could wait! I had some serious puddle jumping to do!

Eventually I gave it up and went to answer the phone.

It was a whole lot of fun, but... I've discovered a certain downside to this blog. When I complete the items on the List, I make sure I have evidence to prove that I completed it- the 'pictures or it didn't happen' approach. Lately, I've fallen into the trap of ensuring things are set up so I can get that evidence, rather than just acting spontaneously. For example, my thought processes yesterday went something like this-

"Oh, look, it's raining. Hey, I have my camera in my bag! I can probably talk my sister into filming... why don't I go out and dance in the rain? There'll definitely be enough light to get good pictures. And it's Christmas Day, too! Won't that be great for the blog?"

So, while things remain fun and exciting, I'm starting to do them for the blog. I've stopped doing them for me, which was the whole point of this project to begin with.

That's why, after I got home from my parent's house at the end of the day, I went back outside.

This time, I danced for me. There are no pictures. There's no proof I ever did it (apart from my say-so). But there, in the dark, during the last moments of Christmas, 2009, I danced in the rain.

And that is what this project is really about.

Found!

2009-12-23T16:24:00.002+11:00

Just a quick follow-up to yesterday's Toy Society post- Mr Oddbody has been found! Check it out!

I'm so happy he's found a good home with a nice family. See? Random kindness has its rewards.

Act of Kindness III- The Toy Society

2009-12-22T11:21:00.002+11:00

In previous weeks, my frequent walks have taken me past a local construction site.

This wasn't any old construction site, though. No boring car parks or office blocks being built here! Instead, they were building a playground. A giant, sprawling, million dollar playground. As I watched it take shape, day by day, I fervently wished to be ten years old again. It looked awesome.

Yesterday, the construction barriers came down and the park opened to the public. I decided to go down there and take a look.

The joint was jumpin'.

I walked home with a renewed sense of purpose. My plan was taking shape.

Remember Mr Oddbody?

His time had come.

____________________________

For a long time, I've been aware of the work of The Toy Society. This craft/street art project invites people to create handmade toys and leave them in public places for people to find. While I've enjoyed reading the blog, I've never actually participated- until today.

There was no point trying to carry out this plan during the middle of the day- the playground would be packed, and I'd be spotted in seconds. Therefore, my mission started with an early wake-up call.

Blurry, first-thing-in-the-morning-'o-vision.

I packed up Mr Oddbody as specified by Toy Society instructions...

...and headed on down to the park. Now, where to leave him? I finally decided on the mirror maze, which not only added to the mystery of the find, but provided me with a bit of cover while performing the drop.

I set Mr Oddbody down, snapped a couple of photos, and hightailed it out of there...

...but not before having fun on some of the play equipment.

This was my attempt to take a photo of myself, using the timer. Rest assured, my upper torso is also having fun.

Mr Oddbody has made it onto the Toy Society website! Now it's simply a matter of waiting. Will his new owner report their discovery? Only time will tell.

Progress Report- Week 7

2009-12-21T09:17:00.004+11:00

Last week was a quiet week on the blog. This is because I've done pretty much nothing towards the project over the last seven days. I suspected this would happen, and lo and behold, Christmas has turned me into a slacker.

The one contribution I made to the project this week was with walking, and even that was a poor effort. My total is currently 155km, meaning I only walked 15km last week- less than the expected average of 19km. I'm still ahead, but my lead is waning.

Never fear! I haven't lost enthusiasm for the project- I've just been a bit busy. I will return, triumphant, in the weeks to come.

In the meantime, please enjoy this piece of audio stupidity I recorded last week. Happy Christmas!

Progress Report- Week 6

2009-12-14T08:58:00.002+11:00

Last week felt like a slow week, but I actually managed to get a couple of things done. Firstly, I finished Madame Bovary, bringing my Classic Book total to 4 (out of ten). This was a good book, but not one I would have read were it not for this project. Nothing like expanding your horizons!

I also completed my second Random Act of Kindness this week- I bought a handmade Christmas present and donated it to charity. This is a Christmas tradition I'm hoping to continue!

My walking has slowed a bit- the current total is 140km (14%), which is still ahead of the pace, but hasn't gained any extra ground. As I suspected, Christmas is slowing me down.

Act of Kindness II- Christmas Boogaloo

2009-12-12T15:47:00.004+11:00

When I was at university, my friends and I had a tradition. Every Christmas, we'd go to the nearest megastore- Target, K-Mart, Big W, whatever- and buy a small present to go underneath the charity tree. I was pretty poor at the time, so the presents were never big or flashy, but it always felt so good to place those five or ten dollar gifts under the tree.

My university days are long behind me now, and I realised (with some shame) that I'd left behind that Christmas tradition, too. It was time to revive it.

I took myself off to a lovely local shop that sells beautiful handmade clothes and toys, and I bought some things that might be suitable for a baby girl.

All handmade. Aren't they cute?

The shop lady wrapped them up beautifully for me (I have yet to master the art of the skilfully wrapped present). I immediately took the gift down to the charity tree at the local shopping centre.

I left my gift there, and I hope that my small gesture will make a difference to a family somewhere.

Madame Bovary

2009-12-11T10:05:00.005+11:00

Another Banned Classic falls before my reading prowess! This week, the victim was 'Madame Bovary' by Gustave Flauber t (translated from the French by Alan Russell).

Flaubert was a 'realist' author- he didn't go in for pretty prose and 'artificial' romanticism. Madame Bovary is an example of this 'realist' approach. For those of you interested in the plot, here's a (very) brief (and spoilery) summary.

The novel dwells for the most part on the character of Emma Bovary. Raised and educated at a convent, she spends her youth reading the equivalent of Mills and Boon romances and thus develops grand and overblown notions of love. She marries a doctor, Charles Bovary, who turns out to fall far short of the romantic love interest she had hoped for- not because he is nasty or abusive, merely ordinary and boring.

She launches into a series of love affairs- one with a calculating philanderer, and another with an earnest young clerk. She also develops a taste for for the finer things, and racks up huge amounts of debt with an unscrupulous merchant named Lheureux. Eventually the debts get called in, and then... well, let's just say things don't turn out well for Emma.

Emma Bovary was everything I detest in a literary 'heroine'- vain, conceited, obsessed with 'romance' and unwilling to take responsibility for anything. And yet... I wanted to keep reading. I wanted to see how things would turn out for her. And (here's the bit that surprised me) I wanted things to end well for her. I wanted her to get away with it. And I have absolutely no idea why.

I might take a break from the Banned Classics over Christmas. After a few weeks of gorging on fruitcake and roast turkey, I may have enough energy in reserve to make a second attempt at Ulysses.

Progress Report- Week 5

2009-12-06T17:23:00.006+11:00

I was able to cross another List item off this week- I extracted my DNA. This was fun and simple, and proved to me that you're never too old for kitchen based science. (Admittedly, I'm the kind of person who feels like a mad scientist every time I combine vinegar and baking soda to clean the sink. Look at it! It's foaming up! It's aliiiiiiiiiiiiiive!)

I remain a week ahead in the walking stakes. The current total stands at 120.5km, which means I'm averaging about 24km a week- five more than required to make it by the deadline.

I'm about halfway through Madame Bovary, and am confident I'll finish it by this time next week. It's quite an interesting read, though I'm having trouble invoking any sort of sympathy for the female protagonist. I figure that she will either redeem herself or be utterly manipulated and destroyed by those around her. Either way, it'll be good reading.

Finally... remember that mystery knitting project from last week? No? Here's a reminder.

That tangle of string and tubes has metamorphosed into...

Mr OddBody! A man of disproportionate limbs... and disproportionate talents!

He's a yoga master-

And a suave, sophisticated man-about-town.

Ladies...

I have a grand mission planned for Mr OddBody, but it may be a little while before that day arrives. In the meantime Mr OddBody will live with me, spending his days in contemplation of his fate.

Taking a good look at myself

2009-12-03T13:13:00.008+11:00

(Today's entry is brought to you by the awesome power of science).

Most people, upon noticing List entry 8- 'Extract my DNA'- tended to react fairly incredulously. "You're going to extract your own DNA?" they would cry."How on earth do you plan to do that?"

I must confess up front- this one was an easy one. Thanks to the marvellous people at BBC h2g2, I was able to extract my own DNA in about ten minutes, using everyday items from around the house.

First, I got a glass of water and added some salt. A lot of salt.

Mmm, delicious. And only five hundred times the recommended daily sodium intake!

In another glass, I combined one teaspoon of dish washing liquid with three teaspoons of water.

Be eco-friendly, folks!

I then swilled the salt water around in my mouth for about thirty seconds (this is to gather DNA from saliva and cheek cells) then spat it into the dish washing liquid/water mixture. I gave the resulting concoction a gentle stir...

...and then, very slowly and gently, I poured ice-cold alcohol down the side of the glass.

My kinda science.

After a couple of minutes, small, spindly strands of DNA began to form.

See those white bits floating around in there? That's me! Can you see the resemblance?

After prodding around at the DNA strands for a while with a toothpick, I did what any responsible scientist would do- I disposed of the DNA down the sink (an act which I hope will result in the creation of an amazing mutant sewer gator/me hybrid in the near future). After the success of this experiment, the scientist in me decided to see what would happen if I combined alcohol with other things... say, lime and tonic water.

SCIENCE!

Progress Report- Week 4

2009-11-29T17:03:00.000+11:00

I've been working on this project for the better part of a month. Happily, I am still having tons of fun with it. Here's hoping it stays that way!

The big news for this week is that I finished 'Uncle Tom's Cabin'. This was a much, much easier read that 'Ulysses'... but then again, I think that goes for most writings in the English language.

Before reading the novel, all my understanding of the plot came from this sequence in 'The King and I'.

This was always my favourite part of the movie, so I was shocked to discover that it's totally inaccurate- and not just in a 'African American slaves do not wear elaborate Siamese headdresses' way. (If you'd rather the movie magic wasn't spoilt, do skip the next paragraph or so).

Most importantly, Eliza and Simon Legree never actually meet in the novel. Eliza does make an escape over the ice with her son (who, incidentally, is named Harry), but this is to get away from a completely different master who had sold her son to a slave trader. Simon Legree does not drown, and is in fact alive at the end of the novel- though he takes to drink pretty strongly, and the last mention of him in the novel states "There were reports around the country, soon after, that he was sick and dying". As for Uncle Thomas, he is not a 'happy people' by the end of the tale.

The characters are all pretty much stereotypes in this novel- which is fine, since it's meant to be a morality tale. Unfortunately, the plot becomes every bit as melodramatic and overblown as that of any modern soap opera. To say it has a bit of a Christian bias is like saying that the Pope is a bit of a Catholic, and the author is particularly scathing on the subject of Atheism. One other notable quirk of her writing is her particular love of sarcasm. Here's an example, discussing a particular meeting of slave catchers-

'If any of our refined and Christian readers object to the society into which this scene introduces them, let us beg them to begin and conquer their prejudices in time. The catching business, we beg to remind them, is rising to the dignity of a lawful and patriotic profession. If all the broad land between the Mississippi and the Pacific becomes one great market for bodies and souls, and human property retains the locomotive tendencies of this nineteenth century, the trader and catcher may yet be among the aristocracy. '

The novel was originally banned due to language concerns. It's true that while 'the N word' certainly gets a workout in this book, and a lot of the African-American dialogue is very racially stereotyped, one needs to remember that this book was actually extremely progressive at the time of its publication.

Completing this novel has perked my enthusiasm for the rest of the project. I still haven't forgiven 'Ulysses' for what it did to my brain a few weeks back, so I've started 'Madame Bovary' instead.

This week, I laid the groundwork for my second random act of kindness. And by groundwork, I mean needlework. Confused? Here's a misleading photograph.

That's all the information you're going to get for now (besides, I'm nowhere near finished). Stay tuned!

I started my Time Capsule project this week. Remember, you can contribute to the time capsule by emailing me with 'For the Time Capsule' in the subject line. Write whatever you want (within reason. Follow this link for guidelines)!

This week I received my official Red Cross Blood Donor Card in the mail. I'd show it to you, but at some point in the week I put it 'somewhere safe', which means I now can't find it (of course). It told me my blood type was O+, the most common blood type there is. I always thought I was either B+ or AB+, but it's no real surprise to me that I am officially one of the common people.

In exciting news, my walking distance has reached triple digits! I've travelled 100km in 29 days, putting me a full week ahead of schedule! (An advantage that will be slowly whittled away over the holiday period, I suspect).

In even more exciting news, I held a studio concert for my piano and voice students this afternoon. It was a fantastic concert, and all the performers did a great job. I took gold coin donations at the door, and was able to raise $78 for Médecins Sans Frontières! A big thank you to all those who attended and donated.

(If you'd like to add your own gold coin to that dish, please follow the link in the sidebar).

Remember the Time

2009-11-26T07:27:00.000+11:00

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.
-Douglas Adams

Lately, I've been thinking about time capsules.

Previously, everything I knew about time capsules came direct from that font of all wisdom and knowledge, Strong Bad.

I've also garnered some hands-on experience. I clearly remember making a time capsule in an empty bottle when I was a child. (I can't remember everything I put in there, but I believe there was a small map of my house with my room marked, and a letter to the people of the future). I sealed it with wax (I stuck a candle in the mouth of the bottle and burned the candle until wax dribbled down the sides) and buried it in my back garden. Since my mum was such an avid gardener, I'm pretty sure that thing was exhumed and thrown out as junk within days of its burial.

After a quick Google, my mind was rapidly opened to the world of time capsules. Did you know there is an International Time Capsule Society that keeps a record of the time capsules of the world? There's also a time capsule project in the works to preserve information on human society in the event of apocalypse. I even managed to locate a time capsule a few measly blocks from my house.

It contains photos of Year 6 children from around the region. Sadly, no bells. I feel that graphic is misleading.

I found an article on WikiHow that detailed the creation of one's own time capsule. This week, I used it to get started.

Step 1- Choose a duration for your time capsule. I've decided to open it on my 40th birthday- November 1st, 2020.

Step 2- Decide where you will store your capsule. Once sealed, it will probably end up at the back of the wardrobe for the next 10 years. That way I won't have to worry so much about water damage, and I can take it with me if I decide to move.

Step 3- Choose a container. This was easy. With a bit of ingenuity and a black pen, this humble media storage receptacle-

-is now a glorious repository of the past.

Step 4- Collect the objects to go in your time capsule. This is the true heart of the project. I intend to add to it continuously throughout the next year. Here are a few things that will be included in the capsule-

Photos
Letters and Cards
Press clippings relating to myself/ my town
Press clippings relating to major world events
Programmes from shows/concerts in which I performed
Programmes/tickets from shows/concerts which I attended
CDs and DVDs. (Will this media be readable in 10 years, or will it go the way of the VHS tape? Only time will tell).
Stickers, business cards, small objects, and anything else I feel will be interesting in 10 years

Want to contribute to my time capsule? Send me an email to michelleslounge (at) hotmail (dot) com (please replace (at) with @ and (dot) with . ) with 'For the Time Capsule' in the subject line. It can contain whatever you like- A letter to me, thoughts on the project, information about what life is like where you live, stories, poems- you name it! I will then print it out without reading it (that's why it's important to have 'For the Time Capsule' in the subject line- I'll know to avert my eyes!) and add it to the time capsule.

I should note that I will be getting someone to read over these for me, so if you want to send something insulting/profane/pictures of your unmentionable anatomy, it won't end up in the capsule. Also, please write your text in the body of the email- I won't be opening any unknown attachments.

That's it! Now become a part of (small, incredibly localised) history!

Progress Report- Week 3

2009-11-22T20:29:00.007+11:00

This week, I was able to cross another item off the list- number 6, 'Write a Will'. The process was easy and surprisingly fun, and something I'd recommend to all those who don't currently have a Will. The peace of mind is worth the preparation time. Go do it!

My progress on number 19 continues, with my current total at 76km. That puts me about 16km ahead of the average distance I need. I'm hoping to keep up the pace for a couple more weeks, until the holidays strike and leave me lethargic and stuffed with fruitcake.

My reading took a hit this week. Ulysses was causing my brain to melt down, forcing a change of novel. I'm enjoying Uncle Tom's Cabin quite a lot, despite its tendency to beat you forcefully over the head with its 'Slavery is Wrong!' message.

Good news! This afternoon I had a very exciting and productive discussion with several friends regarding a fund raiser for Médecins Sans Frontières! The fund raiser itself won't take place until March, though- so please feel free to make your own donation. To do so, follow this link or use the link in the sidebar.

In less inspiring news- I am no better at standing on my head, despite another week of practice. Damn.

Another One Bites the Dust

2009-11-21T16:13:00.004+11:00

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

-Elbert Hubbard

This week, I did something both highly responsible and slightly morbid. This week, I wrote my Last Will and Testament.

Because I had absolutely no idea how to go about this, I decided that a little help and education was in order. Being unwilling to pay up big for legal advice, I did the next best thing- I marched myself down to the local post office and bought myself a Will Kit.

A note about Will Kits- A lot of the resources I reviewed while preparing my Will advised against will kits of this type. I used one simply because I have both a very small estate (estate= the stuff I own) and no dependants. If I had a larger estate or dependant children, I would absolutely seek professional legal advice. Additionally, there are no big surprises in my will- I haven't cut my family out of it in favour of my five dozen cats, for example. Any complications of that nature would, again, have had me seeking professional advice.

The kit was very helpful- listing actions that needed to be taken, information that needed to be compiled, and explaining terminology (like 'intestate', 'residuary' and 'testator'). The back of the kit contained the Will form, which I found quite easy to fill out. As a mark of respect for an official document, I even used a special pen.

Nothing says 'class' quite like a fountain pen, even a cheap one from the local newsagent.

The most difficult part of the process was the official signing. In order to be legal, the signing of the Will must also be witnessed by two others, who must also sign the document. I couldn't ask my family, because they are beneficiaries of my estate (i.e., they benefit from my Will if I die). As I rapidly discovered, it is a very awkward and uncomfortable thing to ask 'Will you sign my Last Will and Testament?'

Luckily, I work in the Arts. Few things phase those who work in the Arts.

My witnesses were a couple of lovely women whom I have known for years. (Both of them work regular jobs, but moonlight as part of a group called The Tap Dancing Grannies). They praised me for my responsibility, signed the document, and everything was lovely and legally binding. Hooray!

As a bonus, I also prepared a couple of pages of funeral arrangements. Surprisingly, I found the process quite fun. I'm actually rather sad I won't be around to enjoy my funeral- it should be quite the party.

All these documents will be kept somewhere safe and secure. (This means they will not be kept in my house, which is in such as state that I can barely find my arse with both hands at the moment).

Now that I am prepared for death, I intend to stay alive for as long as I possibly can, thus rendering those documents useless for a good long while. Who's with me?

Uncle Tom's Cabin

2009-11-20T14:23:00.004+11:00

376 pages in, and it's official- 'Ulysses' has broken me. Not because it's a bad book- far from it- but because it is the kind of book that expects a lot from the reader. The prose is beautiful, and convoluted, and poetic, and difficult... and lately, after a long day at work, all I've been able to manage is a couple of pages before my brain shuts down. I want to enjoy this book, not force my way through the words without any kind of comprehension.

My solution?

Don't worry, Ulysses. It's just a little fling until your quirky eccentricity ceases to be like a file down my spine. We will be together again one day, I promise.

Uncle Tom's Cabin was the best selling novel of the 19th Century. Its anti-slavery message is considered to be an influencing factor on the American Civil War- so much so, that when Abraham Lincoln met the author, Harriet Beecher Stowe, he is quoted as having said 'So, this is the little lady that made this big war'.

From what I've read so far (which is admittedly very little) the book is clearly anti-slavery propaganda- and not even thinly veiled, at that. I've only read a few short chapters, and Harriet Beecher Stowe has already gone so far as to say "A human being is not property, you jerks! What are you, stupid?" (Okay, perhaps not in those words, but the implication is loud and clear). Frankly, I am saddened that a book like this should have to exist in the first place. One would think that 'human beings are not property' is one of those things that should be hard wired into humanity from the start. Sadly, it has taken several thousand years for most of us to figure it out. And a few others still haven't got the memo.

On a happier note, I'm finding that the characters are engaging, the plot is interesting, and it's a damn sight easier to read than 'Ulysses'. And, at this point, that's all that matters.

Progress Report- Week 2

2009-11-15T18:41:00.004+11:00

Tasks completed this week- Number 7, 'Donate blood'. I'm so glad this was my first completed task, and it's something I intend to continue doing until task number 4 comes long and puts an end to it for a while.

Tasks worked on this week- I have been working on standing on my head (Number 28) without much success. I have a lot of practice ahead of me before I can cross this one off.

I've continued my reading of Ulysses, and my pace has slowed a bit- I'm currently up to page 328. Progress has slowed due to a fairly busy week. Several attempts to read late at night when very tired haven't helped, either. I need my wits about me at all times if I want to even attempt an understanding of this book.

I've also continued to tally my walking and running, and am up to 48.5km- more than 8km ahead at this point!

I've also put some work into a mystery task which should be completed by the end of next week... stay tuned!

Total tasks completed-

One. Only 29 to go!

ETA: I have now set the blog up to receive comments from those who aren't Blogspot/Google members. Please leave a comment, if you're so inclined.

First Inversion

2009-11-14T18:13:00.002+11:00

There are several physical challenges in my List of 30. Some of them, such as number 19, simply involve doing something I already know how to do (i.e. walk) for a long time. Others involve some kind of special training. This week, I began training for item number 28- ‘Learn how to stand on my head’.

A headstand (or Sirsasana, as it is known to yoga practitioners) is, to me, the epitome of youthful exuberance. There’s nothing really practical or sensible about standing on your head- it’s just fun. Sadly, standing on my head is one of those skills I never acquired as an exuberant youth. (Nor could I do handstands, cartwheels or roundoffs. Yes, I am still bitter about this). Still, it’s never too late to learn, right? Right?

In my quest for head standing prowess, I’ve been watching a lot of videos like this and this (the second one is awesome, but (I suspect) somewhat outside my skill set).

This week, I made my own video to show you my progress.

I’m just glad I have a lot of time left until November 2010. I suspect achieving this particular feat could take a long, long time.

First Blood

2009-11-09T14:49:00.012+11:00

I am pleased to announce that today marks an auspicious occasion. Today is the day I can triumphantly cross my first item off the List. Today, I donated blood to the Red Cross.

Donating blood has been one of those things I’ve been… well, not avoiding, but not actively seeking out, either. It’s far easier to avoid being jabbed with unnecessary needles than it is to wander into a clinic and offer up a vein. But since only 3% of the population donate blood (while 80% of the population will need blood at some point) I felt it was high time I stepped up to the plate. Besides, if current popular culture has taught us anything, it’s that having blood forcibly drained from your body is, like, totally hot.

My town doesn’t have a dedicated facility for blood donation- instead, it has portable premises that travel all over the local area. Today they were located in the McDonalds car park.

After filling out some paperwork, answering lots of questions and having my weight/iron levels/blood pressure taken, a lovely nurse sat me down in a reclining chair. Then she stuck me with a needle. (At this point, I was deeply amused to discover that her name was Rosalie).

The expression on my face can best be described as ‘This is as smiley as I’m going to get right now because there is a tube in my arm and it is sucking the blood out of my body argh!

After ten minutes or so, they removed the needle and gave me a drink of juice to get my sugar levels back up. They seemed quite concerned about my colour, and refused to believe me when I explained that I am always this pale.

Eventually, after further juice and chocolate (why did no-one tell me about the chocolate? I would have started doing this years ago) I was free to go. I walked out a half-litre of blood short, but with a great sense of pride and accomplishment. (Which is silly, really. The nurses did all the work- all I had to do was sit there and bleed).

Are you a blood donor? Would you like to become one? Don’t put it off as long as I did- the procedure is quick, (relatively) painless, and might save someone’s life. Contact the local blood service in your area for more information. For those of you in Australia, you can contact the Australian Red Cross Blood Service.

In conclusion-

Progress Report- Week 1

2009-11-08T14:56:00.003+11:00

A week has passed, and I am well and truly in the ‘honeymoon’ phase of this project. I’m having fun blogging, planning, and working on tasks. I’m not sure how long this attitude will last, but I’ll enjoy it while I can.

Tasks completed this week-

Uh… none.

Tasks worked on this week-

So far, I have raised $35 for Médecins Sans Frontières- a slow start, but a start nonetheless. If you'd like to help, please donate through the Everyday Hero site.

I’ve been tracking and recording my distances travelled on foot (with the valuable help of Google Maps) and have managed to walk 26km this week! This puts me well ahead of the 19km weekly average I need. I’m hoping to rack up some extra distance in the next few weeks, thus giving me the chance to relax a little over Christmas.

I’m up to page 219 in James Joyce’s ‘Ulysses’, leaving me a mere 714 pages to go. I’m enjoying this book a lot- it’s certainly not easy, and I have to read certain paragraphs several times before they make any kind of sense- but Joyce’s use of language is something quite amazing.

I also completed the first of five ‘Random Acts of Kindness’. This was great fun! I have a plan for the second, but it will be at least a few weeks more before I can carry it out.

Total tasks completed-

Zero. But hey, I’m working on it!

Random Act of Kindness- I

2009-11-06T14:40:00.005+11:00

"There is more treasure in books than in all the pirate's loot on Treasure Island."

-Walt Disney

Today I seized an opportunity to perform my first Random Act of Kindness (List item 10). Before I left the house, I made my preparations. First, I wrote on an envelope.

'You have been rewarded for your excellent taste in literature!'

Into the envelope I put a $5 note, a pinch of glitter (which will no doubt stick to that $5 note for all eternity, as glitter is wont to do) and a short note for the recipient.

In the middle of the morning, I went down to the local library and, whilst no-one was looking, slipped the envelope into the pages of a book. There are no photos of this. I was attempting to be sneaky. A camera would no doubt have blown my... ahem... cover.

‘Which book?’ I hear you ask (I can hear you from here). Well, that’s my little secret. If I have any readers who live locally, I don’t want them scurrying down to the library to snatch up some free cash. Rest assured, it is a very good book, and I do hope its future reader enjoys the surprise.